Salutations to Lord Shiva.

The above is my painting of Lord Shiva. Blessings to all who read.

A Journey Through Shiva

Since I had a few different experiences with Lord Shiva, I will write them here. As I grew, the experiences changed. Sometimes I think I should not tell of the first one because it no longer feels valid—but it helped me on the way.

These are the adventures that happened, and are still happening, in my life.

It all began in 2003, after my husband passed away.

First Experience

You can read about it in my blog:

https://thedivinecontact.com/2022/08/25/my-first-message-from-god/

Second Experience

As I was doing my sadhana—meditation on the Guru, not any specific deity—I had many experiences that molded me into a state of grace and surrender.

About two years after meeting my Guru, the great Siddha Om Maa Shree Nandini Maa, I was in meditation. I wasn’t even thinking about Lord Shiva—the master of yoga. I sat there and began to experience that I was Lord Shiva sitting in meditation. But I was also here in my room, sitting in my body, looking at Lord Shiva.

I was the same being, but also observing myself. It shocked my system of comprehension. Though it didn’t last long, I was perturbed. I have no idea what others experience, but this was one of my first. Many times on my journey, I questioned my own sanity.

This human body and its comprehension—how it works—is something we must all try to understand. The energy system, the immune system, the frequency of vibration.

As I continued meditating, I entered trance states in the temple. I couldn’t sing. My hand would go into different mudras. Then came divine dreams.

In one dream, someone was speaking to me—but I couldn’t see them. I felt wonderful inside. The being said, “You must teach people meditation.” I replied, “I don’t know how.” Then they gave a simple mantra to share.

Then it was said: “This message is coming directly from Lord Shiva.”

At the time, I thought it was just a dream and didn’t follow it. I didn’t know that later, my Guru would tell me I could give people meditation if I wanted.

Third Experience

From my writings — March 26, 2006

I had too much energy in the third eye area, so I stayed home from work. I experienced being Lord Shiva. It was so different.

For three days, I felt weak and unable to think. My mind couldn’t function normally. I felt tingling at the top of my head—I had actually become Lord Shiva in my body. I even felt the snake around my neck.

It was eerie. I looked at my body—it was still me, but I didn’t feel so. The silhouette was there, but it felt like I had no organs. Just emptiness. I was witnessing all this.

As I walked, sat, or worked—I was him. My body was his.

I called Maa in India because I didn’t know if I was losing my mind. My very being and consciousness were having an identity crisis.

I spoke to one of the swaminis (Hindu nun, or sanyasini), but Maa wasn’t there. A day later, Maa called me back. She said not to worry—that this was good.

She told me:

• When I sit for Dhyana (meditation), I should ask her to come in and observe while she does the work.
• I should go to work and live a simple life now.

That night, I felt good. The next day, I was in bliss all day. When I sat for meditation, I observed. I felt strong energy in my heart area.

Maa brought the energy back to my lower chakras. From then on, she said she would be in charge. I would be the witness.

Without a Guru, you can enter very strange states that people won’t understand.

Fourth Experience

After I started hosting satsangs at home, I began to experience Shiva as a dancing Shiva—perhaps Nataraja. My feet and hands moved into similar postures.

I was caught in an energy that made my feet hit the floor very hard. I don’t know how Shiva dances—it wasn’t gentle. My body went through a workout of a dance I didn’t know the steps to. But in my mind, I felt I was Shiva dancing.

The next day, I was exhausted. My body felt broken up. My chest didn’t feel good. I thought I might be having a heart attack and went to the ER. My kids were worried.

The doctor found nothing wrong but told me to take baby aspirin just in case. It took a few days to recover.

I was experiencing myself—but also experiencing this energy.

This is one reason I don’t attend Vedic chantings or pujas. It depends on the energy being chanted. Some are very strong and overwhelmed my body, especially in my early years.

Some experiences are blissful. Some are very energetic

Fifth Experience

I was sitting in my backyard, looking at the garden. In those days, whenever I sat, my body would go into meditation on its own.

Suddenly, I felt energy moving upward in my head. I couldn’t feel my body. I became aware of a place of voidness. I had dissolved completely into the space of Shiva.

There was nothing. No light. Just perfect stillness. No movement. The Shakti was no longer moving. No sounds. No light. A timeless space. No thoughts.

When I came out of it, I realized I had entered a different state of consciousness. It left an imprint I could access to know the experience.

I now feel this is where my soul—or the universe—began. Before it became something wrapped in thought, light, sound, karma, and time.

Reflections on Creation

Each creation brings forth something new. New universes. New beings. Old templates discarded.

Just as the earth recycles dead trees, insects, animals, humans, and cow dung into plants and organic beings—so too the cycle of creation continues.

Did the rishis access stories from past existences or dimensions? Everything leaves a cosmic remnant in the theos.

The cosmic theos is a remnant of the Shakti as it moves, creates, dances, energizes, and experiences itself.

I cannot help but think of Prakriti and Purusha.

Breath and Consciousness

Unseen cosmic energy moves in waves—in nature and in man. Man is part of nature.

Notice your breath. It moves like waves crashing to shore.

• It starts slowly, intensifies, and crashes (in-breath).
• Then it recedes slowly back into the ocean (out-breath).

By understanding Shiva, you understand consciousness. Shiva is consciousness. Shakti is energy.

One can understand both by studying the flow of energy in the body.

The Space Within

If I think of Lord Shiva now, my consciousness travels through a hole (not literal) at the top of my head and goes far upward. I feel empty inside. I don’t feel my body.

I feel like I am space—and this space runs through a channel inside me. This space is the real me.

The space becomes embedded into the light body, which is experienced as bliss when it touches the nervous system.

Everything outside feels like a dream.

There is no longer intensity inside. It is peaceful. The Shakti is peaceful—but it feels empty. And I want to come down and experience my body again.

Sometimes I tie my hair in a bun like Lord Shiva to feel better.

Listen, understand and then feel the consciousness or “that”or chid-ananda-rupa, shivoham shivoham.

Just some insight for you, dear reader.

My meditation on my Guru took me to experience the mantra, the deities, and some living masters—what we call satgurus or enlightened beings—and those who have left their bodies.

My favorite being to feel while in the body is Lord Krishna.

This experience is part of the stream of Divine embodiment I share in the Divine Embodiment and Sacred Dissolution page. For a reflection on the formless essence of the Divine Mother, you may also visit I Am Devi
.

Jai Guruji Shri Nandini Maa

May this page honor the grace that flows through all forms, and the Guru who revealed it.