Salutations to Lord Shiva. The above is my painting of Lord Shiva. Blessings to all who read.

Since I had a few different experiences with Lord Shiva I will write them for as I grew the experiences changed. So then sometimes I think that I should not tell of the first one because it is not so valid anymore but it helped me on the way. This is the adventures that happened and is happening in my life.

It all began in 2003 after my husband passed away.

First experience

In my blog https://thedivinecontact.com/2022/08/25/my-first-message-from-god/

Second experience

As I was doing my sadhana(meditation on the guru and not any specific deity) I had many experiences that help to mold me into entering into this state of grace and surrender. I remember the first experience that blew my mind away. This was only about 2 yrs after I met my Guru, the great Siddha Om Maa Shree Nandini Maa. I was in meditation and was not even thinking about Lord Shiva – the master of yoga. I sat there and I began experience that I was Lord Shiva sitting in meditation but I was also here in my room sitting in my body looking at Lord Shiva. I was the same being but was also observing myself. It was something that shocked my system of comprehension and although it did not last long, I was somewhat kind of perturbed. I have no idea what other people experience but this was one of my first experiences and many times on my journey I would question my own sanity. This human body and comprehension of how it works is one of the things that all of us must try to understand. The energy system and the dynamics of the immune system and the frequency of vibration.

As I continued my meditation, I would go into trance states in the temple. I could not sing. My hand would go into different mudras. I then started to have divine dreams. I remember one such dream. Someone was talking to me but I could not see them. I felt wonderful inside and the being said that you must teach people meditation. I said I did not know how. Then they give a simple mantra to give out. Then it was said :” this message is coming directly from Lord Shiva”. I kept going to the temple at that time and thought that it was a dream so did not follow. I did not know that later on my guru would tell me I can give people meditation if I want.

Third experience:- From my writings Mar 26, 2006.

I had too much energy in 3rd eye area yesterday so I stayed home from work today. I experienced being Lord Shiva. It was so different. For 3 days I felt so weak and unable to think, my mind could not function as normal. I could have felt tinkling in the top of my head and I had actually become Lord Shiva in my body. I even felt the snake around my neck. It was kind of eerie. I looked at my body and it was still me but I did not feel so. The silhouette of a body is there but it felt like I have no organs or nothing. There is complete emptiness. I am witnessing all this. As I am walking, sitting or doing my work I am him. My body is his. I stayed home from work and had to call Maa in India because I did not know if I was losing my mind (lol losing the mind). My very being and consciousness was having an identity crisis. I spoke to one of the swamini’s (Hindu nun, also called sanyasini) there and told her my symptoms but Maa was not there at the time. It was a day later that Maa finally called me back and spoke to me. She said that I should not worry and that this is good. She also said that when I sit for Dhyana (In the practice of Yoga this word refers to meditation and contemplation) then I should ask her to come in and observe while she does the work. Also, that I should go to work and live a simple life now. I started to feel good that same night. The next day I felt so good. I was in was in a state of bliss all day. The next day when I sat for meditation I observed. I felt a lot of energy in my heart area.

Anyway, Maa brought back the energy to my lower Chakras and from then onwards she said she will be in charge. I will be a witness. Without a Guru you can go into very strange states that people will not understand.

Fourth experience

This is after I started doing satsanghs at my home, I began to experience Shiva but as a dancing Shiva(perhaps Nataraja) I say this because my feet and hand were in similar postures. I was caught in this energy that made my feet hit the floor very hard. I don’t know how Shiva would dance. It was not gentle. My body went through a workout of a dance I did not know the steps but in my mind I felt I was Shiva dancing. The next day I was totally exhausted and my body felt all broken up and my chest did not feel good. I thought that maybe I was having a heart attack and I went to an ER center. My kids were worried about me. The doctor did not find anything wrong with me but told me I should take baby aspirins just in case. It took me a few days to recover. I was experiencing myself but also experiencing this energy. It is one of the reasons why I don’t attend Vedic chantings or pujas. It depends on the energy being chanted. It could be very strong and overwhelmed my body especially in my early years. Some experiences are very blissful or some are very energetic for my body.

Fifth experience

I was sitting in my back yard just looking at my garden. In those days whenever I sit my body would just go into meditation on its own. Suddenly I felt the movement of energy within my head moving upwards. I could not feel my body. I became aware of this place of void-ness. I had dissolved completely into the space of Shiva, there was nothing, there was no light. It was perfect stillness. It was a place of no movement. The Shakti was no longer moving. There were no sounds or light. It was a timeless space. I had no thoughts : -when I came out of it I realize I was in a different state of consciousness and somehow it had left this imprint that I was accessing to know the experience. I now feel like this is where my soul or the universe had began or before it started to become something wrapped in thought, light, sound, karma and time.

The next creation brings forth something more in the universe. Each time it brings new universes and new beings, discarding old templates. Just as the earth recycles dead trees, dead insects, dead animals, dead humans and cow dung into plants and then into organic beings, so too the cycle of creation continues. Did rishis access stories from past existences or dimensions because everything leaves a cosmic remnant in the theos? The cosmic theos is a remnant of the Shakti as it moves and creates and dances and energizes and experiences itself. I cannot help but think of the idea of Prakriti and Purusha.

Unseen cosmic energy moves in waves in nature and in man for man is also part of nature. If you notice how your breath moves. You can compare the breath to the waves as it crashes to shore. It starts slowly and increases in intensity and crashes on the shore(in-breath). Then it starts to recede as it moves slowly from the shore and back into the ocean(out-breath). By understanding Shiva you can understand consciousness because Shiva is consciousness and Shakit is the energy. One can understand energy and consciousness by studying the flow of energy in the body. One can understand much more.

If I think of Lord Shiva now, my consciousness goes or the point of consciousness travels through this hole(not a literal hole) at the top of my head and proceeds out of my head and goes way up and I feel empty inside. I don’t feel my body. I feel like I am space and this space is running through a channel inside of me. This space is the real me. The space becomes embedded into the light body which is experienced as bliss when it is touching the nervous system. Everything outside seems like a dream. There is no longer any intensity inside. It is peaceful. The Shakti is peaceful but it feels empty and I want to come down and experience my body again.

Sometimes I have to tie my head in a bun like Lord shiva so that I could feel better.

Listen, understand and then feel the consciousness or “that”or chid-ananda-rupa, shivoham shivoham.

Just some insight for you dear reader. My meditation on my Guru took me to experience the mantra and the deities and some living masters(what we call satgurus or enlightened being) and those that left their body. My favorite being to feel while in the body is Lord Krishna.

Jai Guruji Shri Nandini Maa