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✧ Awakening often refers to the awakening of Kundalini. So first — what is Kundalini?
Kundalini is not a concept. It is a living current — a sacred unfolding from within. It rises not by force, but by grace.
✧ With devotion and Guru, the fierce fire of Kundalini becomes a path of grace — guiding the seeker not only through energy, but through love, surrender, and trust. It is the way the ancients ✧
✧What is Kundalini?
✧ Kundalini is the subtle, coiled energy said to reside at the base of the spine, often described as the dormant divine feminine or Shakti within each being.
When awakened—through grace, spiritual practice, or transmission—this energy rises through the central channel (Sushumna Nadi), activating the chakras and dissolving inner blockages.
✧ The process can be gentle or intense, depending on the readiness of the body and the purity of the heart.
Kundalini is not merely a force—it is conscious, intelligent, and deeply transformative, guiding the seeker toward expanded awareness and union with the Divine.
✧ To note: “Pranaa” is the energy of life and is like electricity—present everywhere and flowing through our body. Kundalini energy is a kind of pranaa, concentrated and awakened.
✧Shaktipat — The Guru’s Grace
Shaktipat is the transmission of divine energy (Shakti) from a Guru to a seeker. Through this act of grace, the Guru awakens the latent Kundalini within, setting the seeker on a path of transformation. It is not merely energy but love and presence flowing from one heart to another, reminding the seeker that awakening is guided by grace as much as practice.
✧The Universal Presence of Kundalini Shakti
This sacred energy is not confined to one tradition. Across cultures and religions, it has been recognized in different forms—known as the Holy Spirit in Christianity, Chi in Taoism, Ruach in Judaism, and Baraka in Sufism. Though the language varies, the essence is shared: a divine presence that moves through the body, awakening love, clarity, and spiritual embodiment. Just a side note: I believe the phenomenon known as “speaking in tongues” may also be a sign of awakening—an expression of divine energy moving through speech. Kundalini is a living transmission, revealing the inner Guru and aligning the seeker with their soul’s rhythm. When held with reverence and humility, it becomes a pathway to liberation and deep communion with the Divine.
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Finding My Own Answers
Many in the medical field and among religious leaders are not familiar with the phenomenon of Kundalini awakening. After speaking with some, I realized I had to find my own answers. Much of this knowledge remains hidden—shrouded in mystery, kept secret in monasteries and ashrams, and only recently surfacing in the mainstream. Even among spiritual teachers, few truly understand this science. My journey was not easy. I experienced pain, fatigue, unusual sensations, and found it difficult to handle money or eat in restaurants. I became highly sensitive to energy—of people, places, and especially food. I learned how thoughts and moods affect everything, particularly in cooking, where energy is transferred. At times, I couldn’t speak and had no one to turn to except my Guru, who understood what others could not. I even called her ashram in India for guidance. Though I entered this path with full faith, I still passed through moments of despair.
What matters is not how you were awakened, or what religion or philosophy you follow—but where you go from there. Under the presence and guidance of a true Satguru, the Kundalini experience becomes different. It is gentler, more supported, and the Guru’s energy helps purify the body. The process can be difficult, but the Guru’s blessings are a great gift. It was through her grace that I was able to go deeper into myself and have the experiences I share here.
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I am mostly fine now, though I still have good days and not-so-good days. Even changes in barometric pressure affect me. I am deeply thankful to have met her, and grateful for the books that found their way to me. Eventually, I had to stop working. During that time, I’m glad I wrote down what I was going through—so I can now share it with you. Though my life is no longer like that, I offer this in case it may help someone else.
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A Journal Entry Before Visiting My Guru’s Ashram
I wrote this during a time of deep inner movement, before I visited my Guru’s ashram:
I am sitting here trying to work. I click the mouse and begin reading the code, but there’s pressure in my third eye area and I feel the urge to close my eyes. When I do, I feel the energy massaging my head from within, and I hear the nadi sounds I hear all the time. Energy leaves the tailbone area, my tummy pulls inward, and the intensity builds in the ajna chakra. After a minute, I open my eyes and try to continue. I may type something, and the cycle begins again. Then my feet begin to feel energy. This goes on for most of the morning.
My hands are so weak today I could barely hold my keys walking from the parking lot to my desk. Toting my bag and lunch feels like a hassle. I feel clumsy, and things often fall from my hands.
Yesterday, I felt helpless and began to feel sorry for myself. I went into Walmart for groceries, and even paying was difficult—holding my purse, taking out my card. My bag fell by the cashier, one zip opened, and I thought nothing had fallen out. After loading the trunk, I realized my phone was missing. I had to go back inside. Thankfully, the cashier had turned it in.
Later, I visited Pradeep bhai. They offered me a snack, and the fork slipped from my hand. I apologized, explaining my hands give me trouble. He said not to worry—this happens to people who meditate deeply.
How am I going to take care of myself? I feel very alone and helpless.
I attended a yoga class on Monday, but that was the last time. That night, I felt so warm and full of energy that I couldn’t sleep. Combined with allergies, it overwhelmed me. Since then, my hands have felt weaker. I believe Kundalini takes care of everything—if I need yoga, it will come spontaneously. So I’ve decided not to return to class. It may have stirred more energy and clearing than I could handle. I’ve surrendered to my Guru and trust her control over Shakti to give me only what I can bear.
This is why people are given the opportunity to serve Gurus or those meditating in ashrams. Because they are dedicated to God, others receive the chance to serve—and in doing so, receive blessings. I have faith that God will send physical help when I need it.
This is all I’ve done this morning: to write this.
I was hoping to work for another year, until my daughter is married, and then buy a smaller house that’s easier to maintain. But it seems I may have to quit soon and live by God’s grace alone. I hope I’ll be able to make the trip to India. I’m wondering if I should go. I’ll purchase the tickets and see what happens.
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The Purification Process
The process of purification may take many years, a few months, or even a week. It varies from person to person, depending on what needs to be cleared or integrated across the layers of the body and being. Symptoms also differ and evolve over time. This is why daily practice and deep observation are essential.
My own experiences changed over time, and I don’t remember the exact order or timing. Here are some of the things I encountered:
- Pulsation or vibration in different parts of the body
- Energy rising through the spine
- Electric-like jolts or movements
- Headaches in the third eye area
- Sensitivity to people’s energy
- Energy moving in the forehead like the lines drawn on Lord Shiva
- A powerful force lifting the body—walking on tiptoe for a while
- Feelings of heat or cold within the body
- Spontaneous yoga poses in the early stages
- Automatic chanting of OM
- Spontaneous forms of pranayam
- Dreams of past lives
- Dreams of ascended masters
- Receiving instructions in dreams—a mantra from Lord Shiva on how to teach meditation to people
- Periods of bliss and deep inner peace
- Overwhelming feelings of love in the heart
- A sense of being divine
- Inability to eat certain foods that once felt fine—digestive sensitivity
- Handling cash made me nauseous and weak
With the constant feel of energy bombarding my head it was hard to concentrate at times. I visited different doctors and over the years I had two MRI’s done but there was nothing abnormal. I asked my guru and then she told me I can tie my head. That’s when I began tying my head in different ways. Sometimes I tied my hair bunched at the crown, in the Sahasrara area, as ancient yogis once did. At other times I used a scarf or turban-style wrap, shifting the tie as the energy shifted. I came to understand why many religious traditions include head coverings—the sensation was as if energy was escaping through the crown, and tying the head helped the body feel stronger. Family and friends may not always understand this, but it is one of the common signs of holy people: practices that arise from inner necessity rather than outer explanation.
These simple acts of care—whether tying the head to ease pressure or adjusting food to support digestion—remind us that the purification process is not only about lofty experiences but also about learning how to live gently with the body. There is much more to learn, but I cannot write it all down. Having a Guru is one of the greatest supports in this process, for their guidance and presence can carry you through what feels impossible.
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The Role of the Living Guru
As I discovered, just being in the presence of a true living master helps the transformation. The Guru is a live transmitter of divine energy. Because they’ve walked this path, they can offer guidance—whether it’s a practice, a food, a fabric, or something subtle that isn’t found on the internet. Their presence alone can shift the energy.
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The Inner Mechanics of Transformation
My body has become so sensitive to mantra that I now experience each one within me—its texture, its vibration, its effect. My nervous system is so finely tuned that I no longer listen to mantra chanting or kirtans; they overstimulate my system and are too much for my body to handle.
It is difficult to write about these experiences, but I’ve tried my best to describe them. The experiences I share—like mudras—arise in the very advanced stages of sadhana. Meditation first clears the conditioning of the mind, accumulated over this lifetime and many others. Karma is removed at an exponential rate, not by effort, but by the energy itself. Most people don’t seek this path—it finds them. As the energy rises, the brain is rewired, and the body must adapt to accommodate the upsurge. It’s natural for the body to feel stressed at times.
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Food and Transformation
As my body changed, so did my food. Years of digestive sensitivity taught me that certain foods no longer supported me—acidic, aged, and fermented foods unsettled my system, while simple, fresh foods brought clarity.
I became a vegetarian when my husband passed, at the same time I met my Guru. Before then, the only non‑vegetarian foods I ate were chicken, eggs, and seafood. Over time, my diet shifted further toward vegan, guided not by rules but by listening to my body.
In time I realized that the foods which agreed with me were all satvic. The ancients were correct: for meditation, it helps to avoid onion, garlic, and other stimulating foods. My own rhythm became simple—herbal teas instead of black tea, stevia for sweetness, sparing use of ginger, and a shift away from wheat, milk, and heavy spices.
This was not about rules, but listening. My body itself became the teacher, guiding me toward foods that harmonize with meditation and inner light. For those who wish to explore more of these observations, see the dedicated page Living Lightly.
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Mantra, Mudra, and Divine Merging
As I meditated, my inner being began to change. The energy pierced the Sushumna—the central channel—and what followed was unlike anything I had read in books. I began to experience distinct sensations as different mantras were chanted, each accompanied by unique mudras. Chanting, prayer, or kirtan for a particular deity would evoke the mudras of that deity, and my being would temporarily merge with that form. Afterward, I would wonder: did I truly experience that? Was it real?
At first, I experienced the Divine Mother—Durga, Parvati—through words and feelings that arose in meditation or trance, often when I was alone. It felt as though I had become the Goddess herself, and the words that came answered my inner questions. This link reflects some of what I felt during that time. Then I experienced Lord Shiva. As I slid into him and became him I journeyed into a place of the void where nothing exists.
Technically I would experience different forms of samadhi. I expand on some of these in Revelations and Transmissions.
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The Guru’s Instruction and the Path of Transmission
What began as inner transformation soon became outer offering. So much was happening very fast, and I met with my Guru only a few times. Then came her instruction—simple, yet profound: You can stop meditating, but you may sit with others and give meditation. She told others in the group that I was a “saint” and instructed them, Go and sit with her. Just take dried fruits and don’t trouble her to provide anything. If you want food, you must bring it.
On another occasion when I visited her ashram she said – wear white. You can sit with others and give meditation and blessings. I didn’t fully understand, but I listened. There was no going back. Her words became the seed, and I walked as a transmitter—not by choice, but by grace. The merging I had experienced with the Divine now flowed outward, touching others in silence. This journey continues—not as a role, but as a living resonance.
This may all seem strange but this is my life experience. For many years without proper understanding I fought myself and was most fearful. Fearful to allow my story to unfold; fearful to proceed and surrender and wanted to not seem strange and be accepted by friends and family. I have to be true to myself as you have to be true to yourself. It is the only space where you can be happy.
I’ve shared two video interviews below, where I speak about how the energy feels in my body and how this journey unfolded. May they offer insight or comfort to those walking a similar path.
This video consists of questions and answers with a few members of my meditation group:
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Explore More:
Revelations and Healing Transmissions
- I Am Devi – A soft transmission of Divine Mother frequency, with sacred imagery and an invitation to meditate
- Soul Transmission -A message to humanity
- Divine Embodiments and Sacred Dissolution – Reflections on merging with deity forms and dissolving into the void
- Living Mudras: Gestures of Grace– Notes on spontaneous mudras, their energetic effects, and their link to spiritual awakening
- Signs of Awakened Kundalini – Excerpts from the book “Devatma Shakti”, offering glimpses into the energetic signs and experiences of Kundalini awakening
- Past Life Dream: A Transmission of Purpose – Explore a vivid dream I received during sadhana. I felt like it was a transmission of purpose.
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My love and blessings to you.
Jai Guru Devi Shri Nandini Maa
May this page honor the grace that flows through all forms, and the Guru who revealed it.