It’s Christmas Day 2023

As I lay in bed I thought of Jesus since it’s Christmas day. I also thought of the state of the world, about wars, the rise in the behavior of stupidity, the rise in “un-truth”, and the mental breakdown. It looks like a world of total chaos. Always has been but it seems to be stepping into ignorance and darkness and as some of the light dims.

I went into that space that I go in and I became that. I once again became merged in energy, light and consciousness and the ego part of Parbatee disappeared and I merged into the essence of what we call Christ. My being understood and echoed “I am the light, I am the way. Fear not.”

Let those who feel hopeless, be hopeful again. God is not of the past and future but God is always among us. God is a living God. God is not hidden in the heavens and books but can be accessed within.

From that state the message is:”You are because I am, Don’t let the darkness of ignorance and the ego overrun this existence. Remain in truth. Only a man of truth will know others who speak truth. Blessed are the peace-makers. Blessed are ones who’s hearts are pure and full of light. Blessed are the ones who’s light shine through their intellect. Blessed are those whose light shines through their compassion. Blessed are those who always acknowledge me and hence have a close relationship with me. For those, they don’t have to ask for blessings for it is given what is needed. Blessed are those who take care of the plants and animals for they become my care takers and are taken care of. Blessed are the ones who holds their strength in me. Blessed are the ones that feel and know me from within. Blessed are those who walk the path of love.”

This entry was posted on December 25, 2023. 6 Comments

Now I Have Time To Love Myself

I was always busy in life, never had time for me

Learning in school, doing chores, coping with drama

Never time for me, but I smiled.

Learning to cook, learning about being an adult, and all the other things we try, learning to conform to society, getting the university education

Never time for me, but I smiled.

Learning the married life, bearing the children and working and working

Never took time for me, but I smiled.

Being a good spouse, teaching and growing my children, washing thousands of laundry items, buying thousands of groceries, cooking hundreds of meals that not necessarily was my favorites ( everyone else’s)

Never took time for me, but smiled.

Coping with the sleepless nights: with children’s common ailments and doctor’s visits, everyday worries, friends or family departures

Never took time for me, but I smiled.

Now I am retired, husband has left the earthly plane, and children are living their own lives, so now I have time for me

Now I had time to love my own self. Now I had time to truly love God or question the existence.

Was spending time loving my friends and family and other things but never had time for me. Was that time for me? It was only time for part of me. Now I have time to find the other part of me.

So I cook what I like, I dance how I like, I dress how I like, I stay away from drama.

Now I have time for me and I smile.

I garden and watch the flowers, I observe nature, I paint the flowers and things of nature

For I have time for me, and I smile.

I meditated and found the real me that was hidden.

Now I am and I smile.

As I meditated, I received the gift of the ability to bless others, and to give meditation.

So, sometimes I bless others, give meditation and spread good thoughts.

I feel completed , so I paint, paint, paint and take pictures of my flowers.


Simple Truth

A simple way to look at your life and bring love into your system.

This post is especially for those who feel alone, or do not feel love in their life.

Do you love your children? Is it because you were part of their creation or manifestation?

Do you love something you created with love and intelligence like a sweater, a building, a garden or did something out of the kindness of your heart?

So to, the creator love this creation.

Do you love your children? Close your eyes and and go into your heart and say ” I love my children” You can substitute children with their actual name. Does it not feel good inside? You can feel the love. If you don’t have a child, I am sure you have a parent or spouse or dog etc.

So if you are a child – now you know how your parents felt. So close your eyes and say and feel “my mom loved me or my dad loved me” or whoever took care of you.

So, in the same way God created this universe and you. So now close your eyes and go into your heart and feel the words of “God loves me” Feel it completely.

Even if you did not feel love when you were growing up, it was not your fault. You are at the very heart of God, at the very heart of this creation. Now create good things in your life and this planet. Put a piece of love into it. Even if you live alone, have this love in your heart.

Every thing you are doing in this world, you are really doing to benefit your own self at its core.

The saints became saints because they loved God with all their might and it was so intense that they got swept up into it and felt the love of the merging love of the creator. So they were sometimes alone but did not feel lonely because they can feel the presence of the creator.

Go for nature walks and see the beauty around. Feel the good energy of a place without the frequencies of technology. For some of you, your thoughts will lessen and you will feel creative or good thoughts will come to you. Then you can get to feeling like yourself again.

Just as our earthly mother loves us so too the Divine Mother takes care of all her creations.

Now do you understand?

This entry was posted on August 26, 2022.

My First Message From God – or some might say from my own self.

It was in 2003 and a few months after my husband had passed away. The days seemed unreal still. It was like if I was just watching life go by. I did not officially start meditation but I had met my Guru(Spiritual teacher – Shri Nandini Maa). I did not accept her as that in my life as yet and I traveled around meeting a few satgurus, enlightened beings, high level yogis and saints( whatever name people call them by).

On this trip, I arrived at a temple in Baton Rouge, Louisiana with my friends Suresh bhai and Indra bahin. We were there to see Swami Ganapati. While we were waiting we attended the temple worship. There was a murti of Lord Shiva. As I stood there with my eyes closed, my hands clasp and listened to the familiar mantras , suddenly I could feel this divine energy within me and this message started resonating through my being – “I am in you and you are in me.” It was so powerful, I started to cry. The thoughts, feelings and energy became this message. It was a voice but there were no sounds coming from a voice, so it was not coming from the outside. It was as if Lord Shiva was speaking directly to me. (At this point in time I was not meditating and going into trance states and having other experiences as yet)How can I describe it further? My sobbing increased and the panditji and all the followers thought that I was crying for my husband(since he had recently passed away and they knew that). The panditji gave the old garland from the murti that was there from the previous day, as he replaced the new one. This was a sign to me that my experience was genuine. Throughout my experiences one can question reality and their own sanity.

This message meant a lot to me. I began to understand the words of Shri Krishna. It helped me cope as I tried to make sense of life. I had to understand more of the nature of God, the nature of the “self”. Who am I? Why am I alive? It give me encouragement to start my journey with my spiritual teacher.

This entry was posted on August 25, 2022.


If you look on the internet there are many images of mudras. I have experienced many mudras naturally due to Guru’s grace. Throughout time they would change. Now it only happens if it is needed(like when I am with devotees) and the appropriate one would come accordingly. Sometimes certain knowledge can only be shared with others who are meditating. Also if you are not awakened you will not understand some of this.

Someone wanted a photo so I posed in this one. Here I made this drawing of some of the energy dynamics of this mudra. Both hands are part of the mudra. One hand is somewhat sideways and the the other is in the abhaya or blessing mudra(as it is referred to). Here the natural cosmic energy is entering my left hand and going into the body and then energy is leaving through the right hand. This is why this is a blessing mudra. It is a complete balance of energy and very grounded. I have drawn that long energy spike through the head to illustrate the ascending energy that is my natural feeling or state and it is one of the reasons I tie my head. In my natural state then the Goddess energy is coming out through my eyes and hand and feet etc. This has a good effect on the plants, one’s surroundings or the people that come around and hang with me. There are more dynamics to how one feels the energy running but that is for mediators.

Water is called steam when it’s boiling and ice when it’s freezing. In a way you could say that the water is in different states. So to understand kundalini (Shakti)think of it as – as it rises it takes the being into different states and so we call her Divine mother or Goddess but that is according to the state of the being. The person is called advanced yogi, Satguru, enlightened, avatar, Maa etc after yoga or union sometimes referred to as the union of Energy(Shakti) with consciousness(Shiva). Hence the many different names. So some people call the Shakti itself Divine mother. One cannot call her kundalini any more because of finished purification and merging. She brings sacredness to one. She is sacred from the beginning so when everyone says “my kundalini is awakened” and does not look at this with sacredness or reverence then it takes longer to rise and the process harder and slower. Also slow if one has a lot of karma to burn. One has to change their diet and lifestyle. By looking at it with reverence and working under the tutelage of a true Sat-Guru the process becomes easier and one moves on the “fast train”. There must be love for the Guru also.

This force is present in all humans but it lays asleep but when it awakens then it rises taking the being back to his whole self or (back to God some might say). This Shakti is responsible for all religious experiences in all religions and is known by different names. It is in ancient India that this science was studied in dept and now many people are starting to understand the awakened force within them. One can say while she is asleep she is responsible for life. She enables you to breathe and live and evolve. In this state you could say this energy is called Prana and sometimes referred to a chi. So everyone can feel energy and some may see auras. When Kundalini is awake it is very dynamic and it feels very different. I think now some psychologist know a little about it. Some have classified kundalini as a kind of Prana. She is a remnant of your individual creation(microcosm) but she is also the Cosmic creator in a macrocosmic way. I know you probably got lost here (especially if you are not meditating)but I cannot explain more than this here.

I have to add the following. Now that we have cell phones and other technology then these travel in atmosphere also. These are artificial waves or frequency that are interrupting the natural cosmic waves of the universe(that I drew entering entering my hand). When we go out in nature where there is no strong signal then we feel the best. At the subtle level it is interfering with my nervous system. I am just sensitive so I feel it but others may not. As a result I don’t carry a phone pass the IPhone 7. These artificial waves pass through the buildings and the bodies, vegetation and animals. We will not know the long term effects. I know it will cause more stomach and indigestion problems and maybe headaches. More people will begin feeling anxious and will think it is the current situation on the planet, but this is an additional fuel to the fire. When people are anxious what do they do? They act out causing further escalation in all aspects of life. Anyways, will this have affect on sperms and eggs in the human? How is affecting the animals and plants? Will it have an effect on the food we eat causing problems of low birth rate and will everyone be on acid reflux medicine? Only time will tell.

We as a human race have to understand that we are part of this creation and everything we do eventually affects each other and all the other living things. We cannot fight mother nature, we cannot create an artificial world, we cannot live in some “illusionary metaverse.” We must have reverence. We can all be wiped out at any time.

Omm Maa

This entry was posted on August 21, 2022.

Things Will Get Worse Before It Gets Better

Here’s a video that was done in Feb 2021 at the height of the pandemic. Keep your faith, remain strong and steady and always keep to the truth. Take care of yourself.

This entry was posted on August 4, 2022.

The Mother Speaks

4. Do not pray for things – pray for wisdom, pray for truth. Have love in your heart and appreciate what you have. Do not compare it with others.

3. Do not pray for things – they are temporary and only exists while you are in this body. Pray for things such as intelligence that will go forward with you in your next life or in a way also inherited by your offspring. There is a natural process of increased intelligence that is encoded in the human but by praying and focusing on what it is to be intelligent then I hurry that process along. It is as when your child asks for something that you are so happy to give him/her because you see it as a benefit.

2. Everything needs power to run. I am the ultimate power of the manifested universe. A part of that power runs within you and continues to power your soul when your soul leaves the body.

1. Just as you love your children and want the best for them so too, I love you and want the best for you.

This entry was posted on April 15, 2022.

Trying My Hand At Watercolor and also Acrylic Painting

I really started to enjoy painting stuff so I have started a new page with my art on it. To check more recent paintings go to My Art

Attempt at Beach – Acrylic 5-24-2022
Lilies from the garden – watercolor- 5-20-22
Acrylic – First waterfall 5-19-2022
Water Lily 5-15-2022

Fence Mural with acrylic paint – 5-11-22
Lake scene in Alaska from one of my pictures -watercolor – 5-3-2022
Sweet William 4/14/2022
Bluebonnets 4/14/2022
Carnations 4/2/2022
Watering Hole 3/29/2022 – watercolor

3-20-22 -Red Rose
3-11-2022 Cardinal

3-8-3033 Simple flowers

3-7-2022 Yellows

3-5-2022 Butterfly
3-3-22 Love
2/2/22 – Sunshine Om
2/1/22 – Rainbow
2/28/22 – Spring Mix

2/25/22 – Hare Krishna!

2-21-2022 – Another River Mountain Scenery. Still learning. The Om symbol is clearly visible.
Feb 16, 2022. My attempt at River – Mountain scenery. Painted from a photo. Made a lot of mistakes and improvised so it does not look exactly like the the photo. However I learned a lot. Can you find the Om symbol ?
2-14-2022 – Swallowtail on a zinnia. Can you find the Om symbol?
2/11/22 – Lilies. Can you find “Om” ?
2/7/22 – Petunias
2/4/22 – Sunflower
2/2/22 – Devils Tower – Sacred rock of Native American Indians in Wyoming -(I think)